They were just trying to live their lives. The way they did—I might approve of or agree with, but it was their decisions to make. I made my own decisions too. Confident at the time, I’m rethinking how I go about situations that inflict my emotions greatly. Time to relapse~ that’s how I feel right now. But I can’t. I really can’t. Because it’s not right. But it’s all I know. And I don’t know how else to go about things. So then I just try and occupy myself with good habits. I’m changing myself slowly because the body and mindset I had then can slowly diminish. So when I change out of my old self, I’ll leave behind the people that once knew that person. That person is no longer there, now that I have realized that. Because that person was so lost, so lonely, so needy. That’s not me. Wtf. Before the first guy, I had no problem being on my own. Then my brother touched on the very sensitive spot I had covered up with tears and anger. He slid right into my soul just to understand my entire self. I am grateful. He helped me find what was wrong with me. But it’s my duty now to control how I feel from how I have lived my past. He can’t be there all the time. So I wait. To try and enjoy life as I like it because life is all about me now. And Id like to spend it with others.